WHY?

After about an hour of chemistry lecture today, I became less and less aware of everything going on around me. A day dream of thinking begain to slip in... the room became quiet.. and I started to question life.
This happens time and time but today was very different. Today my thoughts were a cold and harsh slap in the face. Why am I here? What was I doing? Why was I going to school? So I can get a job? For what? I mean I need to be able to work and be able to live here on earth yet,
 I can't be content any more just going through life. All of those things I loved and wanted in a "christianized" future of comfort, family, friends, sharing Jesus here and there, and that white picket  fence and a side ministry suddenly became a lot less appealing. I mean those things aren't bad, but they are so comfortable! How limited is my loving of Jesus in those places when I still desire them for myself?
I realize those things can be done in a way that you can love Jesus and give yourself for those around you, but I wanna live in such a way that I am uncomfortable.. I wanna give everything to love Jesus with all my heart, mind and would. It's so easy to live life here, christianize this activity, don't say that, read my bible, pray and share the Good news with people I meet in class... But I want to give so much more! I can't slip back into this "easy" way of doing things.. I want my life to be used to the best of it's ability for Jesus. So maybe I can't go be a missionary or start a church, but I can give money to support those who can! Or really give all of me day to day to serve those around me and look for every possible opportunity to share Jesus.. to really DIE daily.. that His glory may spread... I guess what I'm saying.. Is something I've always known, but I'm done living for me and ready to live with Heaven as my home.