WHY?

After about an hour of chemistry lecture today, I became less and less aware of everything going on around me. A day dream of thinking begain to slip in... the room became quiet.. and I started to question life.
This happens time and time but today was very different. Today my thoughts were a cold and harsh slap in the face. Why am I here? What was I doing? Why was I going to school? So I can get a job? For what? I mean I need to be able to work and be able to live here on earth yet,
 I can't be content any more just going through life. All of those things I loved and wanted in a "christianized" future of comfort, family, friends, sharing Jesus here and there, and that white picket  fence and a side ministry suddenly became a lot less appealing. I mean those things aren't bad, but they are so comfortable! How limited is my loving of Jesus in those places when I still desire them for myself?
I realize those things can be done in a way that you can love Jesus and give yourself for those around you, but I wanna live in such a way that I am uncomfortable.. I wanna give everything to love Jesus with all my heart, mind and would. It's so easy to live life here, christianize this activity, don't say that, read my bible, pray and share the Good news with people I meet in class... But I want to give so much more! I can't slip back into this "easy" way of doing things.. I want my life to be used to the best of it's ability for Jesus. So maybe I can't go be a missionary or start a church, but I can give money to support those who can! Or really give all of me day to day to serve those around me and look for every possible opportunity to share Jesus.. to really DIE daily.. that His glory may spread... I guess what I'm saying.. Is something I've always known, but I'm done living for me and ready to live with Heaven as my home.

Knowlege from a wise man...

"Don't live and learn,

Rather learn and live."

and

"Contentment

 IS

learned!"

-Sadly, I can't remember if this was Paul Washer or Rick Holland but they were stickey notes on my desk and thought I'd share :)

Nature Vs. Nurture.

Lately my mind and heart have been longing to be in Italy..
Maybe this desire comes from me being Italian.
Yet, it is quite silly since I've only recently discovered that.. and I wasn't raised by an Italian... 
But its got me thinking, why have I always loved italian food? Always wanted to go on a gondola ride? Been facinated with Italian archtecture? Loved the language? Adored the rich culture and history??
maybe I'm just crazy, well more crazy then the normal, but isn't it a beautiful place???

Perhaps this desire and my desire to plant churches where there aren't many and my love for Jesus means.. well maybe I'm getting a little ahead of myself!

At the end..

What you have isn't real unless it has been tested.
If it hasn't been tested, then you only can assume it is what it is.
But when all of the facades stop-
When it gets hard, difficult and easier just to quite..
what is real will be what is left.
All of what is false will be consumed.
So don't be surprised when people turn out to be someone different, when life gets hard, when days get long, and you aren't exactly who you thought you were.
For in the end of it all, reality is what will be left.





 And to live in reality, that is where true LIFE is found..

John chapter 1

 God revealed something to me today in my reading of His word..
I've read this passage many times but today it ment so much more.

" John replied in the words of Isaiah the prophet, “I am the voice of one calling in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way for the Lord.’”

Maybe it's just because lately I have been seeing how my only purposes here on earth is to share the love of Jesus, that I found this passage so meaningful. We are in the wilderness. Daily we are tempted by sin, but we must be the ones to stand firm with the Spirit in us and to not get tangled once again in it's lies. To stop going to school or work to make our kingdoms on earth, but to go to increase those who will be in the kingdom of eternity.  Yeah, we will look crazy.. like John did (I mean eating locus and what not) but the Lord is returning.... Let us make straight the way.. teaching others with passion remembering the day we first saw that amazing grace. Let us never make the gospel dull news or let the fear of being considered a fool keep us from the honor of sharing.. for one IS returning  that we are not fit to His sandals..

My applogies ma'am..

I have decided to resurrect my blog...
Life has been extremely busy and my blog was the first thing to go..
however, I wanna dedicate just a simple 15 min at least once a week to share what I've been learning.

So to all of you who still follow my blog, 
I hope what you read will be of some encouragement!
As God has said, iron sharpens iron. 

Brick wall

             Again, I've come to sadly realise how often and foolishly we pretend like we don't fully need Christ's sacrifice.. I know we don't say it, but we live it. We forget our devotions here and there, or when we do them, we make them "religious". We don't always come and empty ourselves before the Cross and understand-we have nothing. We don't let our emptiness and thankfulness for what Christ has done push us to obedience but we try to coldly obey.

             Like a brick wall our sin is there. Blocking us from the enjoyment of learning to KNOW God more.

We run, and no matter how hard or how fast, we will always hit the wall,fall back, hurt ourselves, and in the end, the wall will still be there. It is only when we run to Christ that He can break the wall and make it into a pile of ruble.